suboptimal information

Girdle… of *live* crocodiles… WTF?

How the hell does someone come up with this idea? I mean it’s not like they’re gonna sit still and cooperate while this woman was strapping them on. Sure, their snouts were tied shut, but they could still squirm.

JERUSALEM (AP) — A woman was caught with three crocodiles strapped to her waist at the Gaza-Egypt border crossing after guards noticed that she looked “strangely fat,” officials said.

The woman’s odd shape raised suspicions at the Rafah terminal in southern Gaza, and a body search by a female border guard turned up the animals, each about 50 centimeters (20 inches) long, concealed underneath her loose robe, according to Maria Telleria, spokeswoman for the European observers who run the crossing.

“The woman looked strangely fat. Even though she was veiled and covered, even with so many clothes on there was something strange,” Telleria said.

The incident, which took place on Thursday, sparked panic at the crossing.

“The policewoman screamed and ran out of the room, and then women began screaming and panicking when they heard,” Telleria said. But when the hysteria died down, she said, “everybody was admiring a woman who is able to tie crocodiles to her body.”

In her defense, the woman said she “was asked” to carry the crocodiles, said Wael Dahab, a spokesman for the Palestinian guards at the crossing.

The reptiles, which had their jaws tied shut with string, were returned to the Egyptian side of the border.